Dealing With The Ugly

Colossians 4:5 Live wisely among those who are not believers, and make the most of every opportunity.

This verse has popped up in my life quite a bit this week. Byron touched on it this morning. In my community group we have spent the last two meetings reading over the book of Colossians. It is a small book but it is packed full of hearty truths. This verse in particular has become my personal statement within the last couple of years. Not that I always abide by it but it is always ringing through my mind at some point…usually I hear it the loudest when I act like a complete fool.

God has had to produce a major breakthrough in my life for me to really grasp the concept of this verse. It soooo seems simple enough when I just read it. The problem lies in the application. I, for so long, felt like living wisely among those who are not believers meant that if I followed a list of do’s and dont’s to the letter then I was A-okay. It didn’t matter to me that inwardly I could be unforgiving, bitter, resentful and just plain ugly as long as I could portray an image of being an overall good person then I was fine.

Recently I have had to face the reality of what this verse really means. It seems that over and over again I have had to confront the issues of my heart and pray for an inward attitude adjustment. God has restored so much in my heart and healed me from issues that run deep… things that I have held onto as battle scars for years. When God restored these things in my life it cleared the fuzziness and made me focus in on the areas that needed desperate attention. I am learning how self consumed and narcissistic I can be. I am being shown how I let so many opportunities pass me by to take care of my self serving tendencies. I have wanted to pick at the scabs of my wounds over and over again. I have had desires to pity my life, my circumstances, and my dealings with personal injustice. I’ve had to ask myself a hard and honest question…”is this living wisely?”

The only way to feel passionately about something is to experience it. When I make the choice to change my desires from focusing on myself to focusing on others I may feel the sting of a wound but the recovery from it is quick and natural. I’ve become passionate about loving God and loving others. I’ve experienced what love can do. Instead of wallowing in the pit of self despair I choose love. This is the wisest decision I could make. Love that comes from a place of freedom. Agenda free, bondage free, and guilt free. I have lived with those things for too long. It feels good to be unshackled. I can honestly say that. While situations can still hurt… it is fleeting. I am striving towards living wisely. I’m tired of having opportunities pass me by. There are too many wounded souls that don’t need to feel hopeless pain anymore. Jesus died and was thinking of us when he was being tortured. He didn’t sacrifice himself so that I could mentally check off a box of what good I do while at the same time hold onto some ugly stuff inside. Living wisely is a matter of the heart. I pray for more opportunities to show others what God is capable of. I pray that I do it wisely. I pray that I do it with love.